I Sent A Press-Release to Everyone Who’s Ever Sent Me a Press Release.

I’ve heard that living well is the best revenge. This always struck me as ridiculous because everyone knows that the best revenge is actual revenge, and if it subtly hearkens back to the way that you were originally wronged by the party in question, all the better.

Seriously, how does gallivanting around the world with the love of my life punish those who have wronged me? Answer: IT DOESN’T.

As many of you know, I get inundated with press releases and spammy guest blog requests (they don’t so much write blog posts as they do hand you a list of domain names featuring some combination of the words “free,” “gambling,” and “penisfest.”) In 2013, I was getting half a dozen pitches daily to write about those sprays you put in the toilet before pooing so that no one will be able to guess that your shit stinks. These emails

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