My favorite person in the world at my favorite store, holding up a shirt I tried to get him to buy.
The thing about having the phrase “petty theft” in the title of my book (AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW) is that everyone assumes – perhaps fairly – that I am driven by compulsive thievery. This is inaccurate. In reality, my thieving is calculated and vengeful, to be meted out upon deserving parties in the name of justice and also passive-aggression.
What’s that, you ask? Could I simply just confront the establishments/houses of worship/state departments that I feel have wronged me and tell them why I’m upset? Well, sure, I suppose I could, but that takes a lot of self-awareness and personal growth and frankly shoving a couple packs of Post-Its in my bag is way easier.
My thievery is usually applied in a very limited scope, and much less