Relationship Advice: Buy a Big Ass Scarf

I am on occasion asked for relationship advice. I often do not know how to reply. The list of things I could tell people is long and winding, may be entirely irrelevant, and varies from season to season and day to day. In summer, I learn to appreciate freckles and to not mind when the […]

Cambodian Rock Band at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival

Note: this post contains some content that may be upsetting for certain readers – including mention of torture and the Cambodian genocide. ————— My trip to Cambodia feels so long ago – more than five years – that I have to remind myself that I was there. I look at the photos, and see myself […]

When Online Threats Become Real. (It’s Not Just Trolling.)

(Note: this piece does not link to any of the shooter’s video or manifesto directly, but some of the news sites that I link to may do so. A few include screencaps of his 4-chan forum discussions. Please click with caution.) 49 people died yesterday, gunned down in two mosques in coordinated attacks across New […]

The Everywhereist On Live Wire Radio

I’m still weirded out when I’m asked to do interviews. I still feel like, even after all these years, that the blog (and even my book) are sort of a small, insular thing, and when people have heard of them, I find it oddly confusing. It’s like a stranger walking up to you and talking […]

The Importance of Keeping Things That Spark Rage

I had not worn the socks in years when I fished them out of the back of the drawer. They had survived the journey to college and six subsequent moves. They were one of the few relics of my past that had not been destroyed in the recent fire that consumed my mother’s home. They […]

An Open Letter to Whoever Left Poo On My Toilet Seat.

Dear Friends, As you know, Rand and I are social creatures. We thrive on seeing the people we love, on following the winding paths of your lives, on quietly building a history of private jokes and shared experiences together. We aren’t simply growing old with each other, we are growing old with all of you, […]

If I Had One Story Left To Tell

Posted on Dec 31, 2018 A few months ago, I had the pleasure of being on Dan Moyle’s podcast, The Storytellers Network. I’m always a bit hesitant to go on podcasts. I love chatting with people, but my relationship with the spoken word isn’t quite what it is with the written one. I tend to […]

Seeing Genoa for The First Time Again.

It is with some embarrassment that I tell you that I hated Genoa the first time I visited there, a decade and a lifetime ago. In my book, the only mention I make of the seaside city – the birthplace of Christopher Columbus, the location where Marco Polo was imprisoned for a year (because Italy […]

Emergency Porchetta, Canelli, Italy

The emergency porchetta was my favorite part of the trip. That is a strange thing to say for a lot of reasons. For one, I don’t know if the concept of emergency porchetta is widely known. A Google search for the term reveals four results, the most salient of which is someone looking for cooking […]

When Online Harassment Shows Up on Your Doorstep

The letter arrived at my house at the end of October in a plain white envelope with no return address. My name – or some approximation of it (“Depruiter” it reads, because, in the words of my beloved, “The person who addressed it is an idiot”) has been printed out on a label and affixed […]

Halloween 2018: Indiana Jones and Punching Nazis.

I don’t know when the idea for this year’s Halloween costume originated. Rand and I have been talking about it for years. It’s the sort of thing that stays simmering on the back burner for so long that you almost have to wonder if it’ll ever come to fruition, or if the idea will simply […]

Tragedy, Antisemitism, and Being Not Quite Jewish

I have yet to call my in-laws (my husband’s grandparents) in the wake of a  shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh. A few days have passed. For the collective American consciousness, the lifespan of a mass shooting is short. The newscycle has already moved on, as has everyone’s social media posts. (Even this post, written two […]

The Women Who Write Letters

(Above: my student ID in 1999. Let’s just keep our comments to ourselves.) There’s this pattern I keep seeing. It goes like this: Woman accuses man of sexual assault. Man denies accusations. Man’s PR team then releases numerous letters from women saying that he’s not a sexual harasser because, you know, he didn’t harass them. […]

I Quit Twitter for a Month.

I quit Twitter for a month. This should not sound like a profound thing, but for someone for whom the social media platform was essentially an extension of my psyche, the act has felt monumental. I have said, again and again (usually when talking of internet abuse and responding to people who tell me that […]