I Spent a Year Reading Women Authors.

TW: This post makes brief, passing mention to accounts of rape and assault in some of the books I read. I decided to spend 2020 reading only women authors. It shouldn’t have been a revolutionary act, but somehow, by the end, it started to feel like one. There’s a clear gender bias in publishing (male […]

To Everyone Traveling Right Now: Stop It.

It’s February. This was the month that Seattle started to shut down, a year ago. It’s the last month that I ate inside a restaurant. We were scheduled to go to Italy that March, just as Covid was starting to take hold there. Those few weeks before we were set to leave were fraught – […]

The Only Thing I Want to Remember About 2020 Is Hilaria Baldwin.

It is December 31st, the last day of 2020 a year that has been supersaturated with so much shit and grief that it’s almost bordered comedy. I have been to a Zoom wedding and a Zoom baby shower and a Zoom funeral, experiencing the spectrum of human existence in halting pixilation. I try to remember […]

Merry Christmas. It’s Not Too Late to Stay Home.

(Above – every holiday with my family ends with people dancing in the kitchen. I don’t know why. This was a few years ago. Yes, there is box wine. And yes, my mother, at left, is a knock-out.)   It’s Christmas Eve, and I am at home. I can’t remember the last time this has […]

Happy Thanksgiving. Stay the F*ck Home.

Ah, Thanksgiving! A holiday we celebrate by playing a game with our families that I like to call “And that’s how you’ve decided to live your life then?” Like Pictionary, you just keep at it until someone cries. Or – hear me out – you could just stay home for the holidays, closing the curtains […]

I Do Not Have The Emotional Bandwidth For A Coup Right Now.

Dear GOP, Look, here’s the thing: I’ve got a lot going on right now. I mean, not technically. Technically, I walk around the house nursing a stash of Halloween candy while occasionally changing from “day pajamas” to “night pajamas” (the sartorial differences are subtle but significant). Today I cried while watching a tiktok video, a […]

My Grief Chyron Is Really Long Right Now.

Grief is weird when the world is normal. Everyone just goes about with their day, walking around, and sometimes the sun even has to audacity to shine, and when you are grieving, all of it feels like an insult. I told Rand once that I wished that human beings had chyrons – those little scrolling […]

I Had Mail.

Six months into an interminable lockdown, I find myself missing the long dead. The throughline feels like a logical one – it’s a pandemic. Of course I’m thinking about death. Death and the post office. That took me slightly by surprise, even in a year where nothing has been what I’d imagined. I didn’t think […]

Just Wear a Goddamn Mask Already.

Last week, my kitchen sink collapsed. It fell from the bolts that held it, as though in protest, as though it, too, had had enough of the endless dishes and cooking. I managed to catch the edge of it, sharp even through my yellow latex gloves, and held it up with my fingers and the […]

Seeing Through The Fog.

I’ve been staring at my computer a lot. If I do manage to type something, I will usually delete or loathe it by the day’s end. Writer’s block doesn’t really cover what I’m feeling, because it’s not really a block. A block implies something complete and impenetrable, and this isn’t. Someone recently said that writer’s […]

It’s Okay if You Can’t Right Now

I woke up this morning, our sixth week of sheltering-in-place, or maybe our seventh (I’ve lost count) and the days have started to run together in a way they never have before. I thought time only worked like that in memory. When I think of the summer after high school or Christmas breaks when I […]

This Too Will Pass.

Social isolation has sort of felt like a break-up – a sensation that, after nearly 20 years with my husband, returns to me like a hazy, rotten memory. “Oh, this,” I think, as I pull myself out of bed, forgetting what day it is, and mash an OREO into my maw. “I remember this. It […]

A Seattle Germaphobe in the Time of Coronavirus

My city feels strangely still right now. I normally hear the sounds from the elementary school nearby, or people walking their dogs, the swish of cars driving by on the street. But it’s oddly quiet at the moment, the only sound the squawking from a few irritable crows whose life mission is to make sure […]

Anti-Valentine’s Day And Ugghhh We’re Cute

People are always surprised when I tell them Rand and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. I mean, we used to. But dear lord, it was always so, so much, and it always felt a little weird and uncomfortable and forced, even if it lead to some of my favorite photos, ever: Our first Valentine’s […]