In Which A Bluff Is Called, In the Buff

My husband’s Twitter account is a lot more professional than mine, because my husband is a lot more professional than I am. He’s also not really into PDAs, and so it’s pretty easy for me to embarrass him by simply mentioning that *lowers voice* we sometimes do adult things together. So on a regular basis, […]

Adjusting to the Brightness

Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. The dinner was on a restaurant patio, […]

The Fear Of Feeling Hopeful, Post-Vaccination

Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. The dinner was on a restaurant patio, […]

I Cleaned My Office. It Didn’t Work.

I cleaned out my office for the first time in *mumble mumble*, the final act in a string of procrastinations masquerading as chores. With the help of a friend, I hung a painting which spent the last two years lying propped up against the wall of the guest bedroom. I dusted the baseboards, and then […]

Lesser Known CDC Recommendations for Vaccinated People

I’ve just gotten my second vaccine (the technical term: a full vaxxiccino) and have been reading the CDC’s recommendations for safe summer activities for the fully vaccinated. I’m two weeks ahead of my husband, something I hold over his head because he has better abs than me and is just a better person all around, […]

Maybe Getting Back to Normal Is Just As Hard.

I got my second vaccination shot this past weekend, spent the day after nursing a sore arm and watching television, in the throes of something not quite like a hangover. The internet told me to expect the worst, as the internet usually does. I anticipated being laid out for 48 hours. Instead I had a […]

My Husband’s Pandemic Hobby.

Look, I am going to confess something, and as I do, please, please, please do not hurl anything heavy, because odds are, due to the pandemic and the ubiquity of the internet, we will not be in the same room, and it will not hit me. You’re just going to destroy your own computer or […]

Things I Have Falsely Claimed Are Side-Effects of The Covid-19 Vaccine

I got my first vaccine shot on Easter Sunday, prompting all sorts of blasphemous jokes about being resurrected from lockdown, though it’ll be another five weeks (three to my next shot, and another two after that) before all those little antibodies build up. I felt fine in the aftermath, and still do now, though this […]

All The Insults You Meet As a Woman On The Internet

CW: This post contains mentions of death/rape threats, some graphic language, descriptions of online abuse, screen caps of verbal abuse, transphobic and hateful comments. If you need a mental palate cleanser after just thinking about that, here’s a pic of Rand cooking.  So, last week, or maybe two weeks ago, or three months (does it […]

How To Be Creative When Everything Is Bad

I hear a lot of people saying – as we approach the year anniversary of this pandemic and lockdown, a year of not knowing what it means to hug those close to us or see people we love, or do any of those previously forgettable but now utterly unimaginable everyday things like sitting at a […]

I Spent a Year Reading Women Authors.

TW: This post makes brief, passing mention to accounts of rape and assault in some of the books I read. I decided to spend 2020 reading only women authors. It shouldn’t have been a revolutionary act, but somehow, by the end, it started to feel like one. There’s a clear gender bias in publishing (male […]

To Everyone Traveling Right Now: Stop It.

It’s February. This was the month that Seattle started to shut down, a year ago. It’s the last month that I ate inside a restaurant. We were scheduled to go to Italy that March, just as Covid was starting to take hold there. Those few weeks before we were set to leave were fraught – […]

The Only Thing I Want to Remember About 2020 Is Hilaria Baldwin.

It is December 31st, the last day of 2020 a year that has been supersaturated with so much shit and grief that it’s almost bordered comedy. I have been to a Zoom wedding and a Zoom baby shower and a Zoom funeral, experiencing the spectrum of human existence in halting pixilation. I try to remember […]

Merry Christmas. It’s Not Too Late to Stay Home.

(Above – every holiday with my family ends with people dancing in the kitchen. I don’t know why. This was a few years ago. Yes, there is box wine. And yes, my mother, at left, is a knock-out.)   It’s Christmas Eve, and I am at home. I can’t remember the last time this has […]

Happy Thanksgiving. Stay the F*ck Home.

Ah, Thanksgiving! A holiday we celebrate by playing a game with our families that I like to call “And that’s how you’ve decided to live your life then?” Like Pictionary, you just keep at it until someone cries. Or – hear me out – you could just stay home for the holidays, closing the curtains […]