I have to warn you, this post is about Dane Cook.
This is exceptionally depressing. Honestly, most days, I don’t think about Dane Cook – not even enough to hate him. Any knowledge I have of him has been gained through some sort of pop culture osmosis. I think he made a weird creepy movie about being a stalker a few years ago. I think he’s a comedian, maybe? I don’t know of any specials he’s done, or jokes he’s told, or TV shows been on, or anyone who genuinely likes his work. But let’s accept this strange truism: Dane Cook is, apparently, rich and famous and successful for (insert reason here).
But the reason that I have decided to give a flying fuck about Dane Cook for the first time in my life, is that six years ago, he started dating a teenager. Cook was 45, and his girlfriend