Despite my numerous protestations, several letters to the editor, and one shockingly well-funded Kickstarter, Thanksgiving is somehow upon us again. If you are anything like me (clinically depressed and awesome), you are wondering how we ended up here again. In my case, I assume it’s punishment for the time I said Vince Vaughn was “kind of bangable” in the early 2000s.

For the record, I don’t hate the holidays (though societally, we have entire airplane hangar of shit to unpack around Thanksgiving). I don’t even hate cooking for the holidays. But I hate the way that gender roles around cooking and hosting become more entrenched sometime around November 10th, and don’t let up until mid-January, or, for some people, ever.

In 2022, I wrote about how it’s okay to buy pumpkin pie (it is! If you want to! It’s an incredibly easy shortcut and honestly there has never been

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