Look, look, here’s the thing:
I have watched the footage of Taylor Swift running towards Travis Kelce and hugging him a bazillion times now, and if you are a person who is alive and has a internet connection, or even a person who doesn’t have an internet connection, even if you are just a dead racoon, you’ve also seen it, because this video transcends cyberspacetime and the mortal coil. This video is very important, and people (and dead raccoons) care about it a great deal. I, a person who knows exactly one and a half Taylor Swift songs (“Shake it Off” and another one about … I want to say revenge?) have watched it approximately 8,000 times. Among people I follow on various socially media sites, it has been analyzed more than the Zapruder footage.
“LET US JUST ENJOY THIS,” someone screamed at me, and I get it. I am